Full of a foot top in benches mustard.

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:37:09 GMT

why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck why does my life suck

havent posted here in a while

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:07:11 GMT

I have a truly entered a depressive state like no other. I never thought it would be so bad NOT having a job. I am not a material person anymore, don't know if i ever really was one, but jesus christ, I can't even scrape up NICKELS AND DIMES. My parents are making little to no income, we haven't been able to pay rent in like 8 months, and our only chance of staying here is on a technicality. If not I have to move to weekee wachee with my parents AND my grandparents, and its really peaceful out there but i would go crazy without my girlfriend or friends or bands.

Another day of sitting in my room waiting for something, ANTHING to fucking happen. I want to fucking tear these walls down, I am so sick of this shit. Thoughts of anything best buy related bring images of violence and hatred to my head, usually leaving me in a state or clinching my fists and playing scenarios in my head until i realized how hard i was zoning out on this feeling of anger. I have never felt such hatred like this before. For anyone who doesn't know, best buy fired me for being 8 minutes late after 4 years of 'service' leaving me totally FUCKED, GETTING MY CAR REPOSSESSED, LEAVING ME WITH $12,000 IN DEBT, ON FUCKING FOOD STAMPS...

WHAT ELSE OH YEAH COULDN"T PAY MY DEBT TO MY BANK SO GOT MY ACCOUNT CLOSED, CANT OPEN ONE FOR 5 FUCKING YEARS,
WHICH MEANS
CANT MOVE ANYWHERE
CANT GET LOANS ON ANYTHING
IM FUCKED

i can't even fucking think anymore. i wish i could just take tanya, kick her in the face, through her car window, leaving glass and foot in her mouth, then drag her out through the window, kick her in the rib cages, smear her face on the cement over and over and over again permanently disfiguring her, probably jump on her head about 20 times, kick her teeth out, and then say "TRY AND FIND A JOB NOW YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT!!!!!!!"

just kidding guys,
but JESUS FUCK!! i wish she at least knew what shes done to me!
ARGHHH!!!!!

so yeah, thats been my life lately, hows it going for everyone else?

Oh,

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 11:04:12 GMT

Thats a truism.

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 15:25:15 GMT

LIFE

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 15:25:00 GMT

FUCKING

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 15:24:39 GMT

RULES.

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 15:24:19 GMT

(seriously)

eh

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 15:16:02 GMT

I think working on my car for 11 hours yesterday got me a little more angry than i would have gotten, so no more sarcastic entries from here on, if i even post anything serious in here anymore.

hmm.

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 15:04:22 GMT

You should not drink any beverage that contains alcohol while you are taking OxyContin. This includes beer, wine, and all distilled liquors. OxyContin and alcoholic beverages may have dangerous interactions that can result in serious injury or death.

Damn, this sound much safer and less "life-altering" than weed! what the fuck have I been thinking this whole time?!?!?!?!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 22:37:27 GMT

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MY LIFE IS SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL DUE TO WEED WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh thats right, absolutely nothing. Apparently I have this dark shadow over me that makes me look like my life is so so bad. If anyone is wondering, I am extremely happy with how everythings going right now. so SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 20:37:20 GMT

lolz @ neato lj posts that most people won't get. yay!

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 20:04:49 GMT

so the car is going bye bye soon, but the vw legacy will still carry on...

maybe such as this?

or?

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 15:13:54 GMT

i miss my girlfriend : (

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 00:08:16 GMT

girl (not me in the picture obviously)

good times

no more pics to show what else is going on in my life...

: )

Sat, 26 May 2007 17:08:11 GMT

So I pissed in the street last night and a cop showed up literaly seconds later after i finished, and waiting outside the house I went in for like 10 minutes shining his light on the door. Fuck that shit.

Thu, 24 May 2007 04:00:34 GMT

hey

Thu, 03 May 2007 16:05:16 GMT

I just did a bunch of upgrades to my car, what do you think?

Wed, 02 May 2007 14:19:10 GMT

So the general consensus is that I should get this tattoo.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:48:08 GMT

=

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 07:01:20 GMT

have a wet...one?

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 23:28:19 GMT

Well a lot of things have been going on lately, so here is my 'better late than never' entry.

Julie and I celebrated our one year anniversary on the 2nd. We went out to this place called Tuscans, which was amazing to say the least. Even though I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt where everyone else was wearing suits and shit. oh well.

My birthday recently passed, and I am now 21! Julie got me a dvd from my favorite drummer, Marco Minneman, some hot rodz (for drums), a hunchback plush guy who resembles me...or vice versa, some beauty ass cat goods, and took me to The Format show, but she tricked me into thinking we were going to some ymca thing. So Julie is basically the best. Oh yeah we also went to crazy buffet somewhere in there, and that was amazing as well, especially setting off party poppers inside the building.

Back to the Format show...amazing. Anathallo played after some terrible band, and they put on an amazing show, I really liked them alot. Then Rainer Maria came on, they were good too. The Format played last and put on a set full of feel-good times and sing-alongs. They were really good too, but i can't help but get the feeling that myspace/livejournal blogs from little girls everywhere are gonna read something to the likes of "the format owns my face!!!1111eone!1onehundredone!!!11"

Then we had the metal BBQ where i dressed up really amazing and i hope theres pictures somewhere. Got some slip n' slide with soap and baby oil....bad idea. That was all really fun. Yeah but i'm tired of writing so see ya.

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 15:58:39 GMT

i'm a faggot who never posts.

so you might as well take me off your friends list

cause i am seriously really gay. really.

Tue, 02 May 2006 21:56:39 GMT

Julie Calderone is the greatest girl ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 02:03:54 GMT

I'm not sure whats going on lately. A lot of good and a lot of bad stuff. Julie and I are doing really good. We went to Tallahasee last weekend. It was really fun, even though I got a little sick. I got some really good sushi and even a little machine gun to put on my keychain! We've been having a lot of fun lately. We are in love and I have never felt more alive. I'm not being taken away from anybody though. I'm still here, just things have changed a little lately, on everyones elses part. Well, not everybody, but select people.

Lately I've been having a lot of inner struggle, but I think I'm finally coming to an understanding of a lot of things. A certain individual has been coming up lately and kinda spreading like a plague, and personally it really bothers me, and I hate this individual, I don't care how harsh that may sound, it's how I feel. Not because of what happened in the past, but because of what kind of person they are, and what they do to other people.

I can only help but feel replaced by this person, even though others may say it's not. I know you all think I have been distant but I just feel shut out, and I guess it's all of our faults for not speaking up, but it has just gotten to such a ridiculous point. To where you guys choose this person to hang out with over me, it's as simple as that.

I don't think I'm being irrational at all. It's just a situation I dont want to deal with. I'm not saying its everybody, but you know. If someones gonna put me on the backburner then I'm going to do the same. I guess I just realized I shouldn't compromise myself for anybody. Because It kind of builds up and then drives you nuts.

I guess this is what happens when I don't speak my mind a lot. Thats changed though. As a result, I feel like I'm becoming closer to some people. Others though, are too wrapped up in other things to notice. I'm just sick of brushing things off, and tricking myself into thinking everythings okay.

Tonight there was a party at the beach. All of my friends are there. The person I spoke of earlier was there as well. You know, the one who I hate. Well, after some thinking I decided that I don't want to go, just for the fact that I dont care to associate, or even be around this piece of complete, worthless, trash. Not just because of what happened in the past, but what happened and the past, and what is happening now.

I just think it's bullshit, is all I guess. For whoever wants to talk shit and say I'm being irrational or whatever, who cares. I have heard some other shit recently anyway. Usually around this time I would proofread and be like "uh oh this is too harsh" but thats stupid, and I was stupid for ever being like that. I think I'll be liked better this way anyway! So I guess I'll end this entry, I'm too busy not hanging out with a complete waste of life!

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 23:11:39 GMT

Julie is gone and i am sad. well shes not really gone but i am still sad. my stupid car broke down the other day and julie picked me up and made me feel better, like always. in other news, life is cool.